Puppy Love, Making Love, Finding Love; Modern Misconceptions about those four little letters

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I’ve said ‘do what you love’ for years. But, I keep seeing this phrase extended. So, I decided to make some revisions.

Do what you love, Judge what you do, Only true love can heal you.

If your ‘love’ is killing you, then it’s not love. Modern day ‘love’ making has been demeaned to a point, that it now means something different. ‘Making love to your woman’, doesn’t exactly sound classy.

Modern ‘Love’:
L: Lust
O: Only tonight
V: V.D.
E: Experience

Love has in many ways been dwindled down to just mean sex. But sex without love will only hurt you. It’s portrayed as wholly sufficient in itself, but people like sex as much as they like people. There are people you like, and people you don’t. Sex solely depends on the person your with and your relationship with them. It’s just not about a physical action, or anyone off the street would do.

I knew guys who had a glorified/incorrect perception of sex when they were teenagers. Unfortunately, since they thought it was just about the physical, they started having sex when they were thirteen/fourteen years old. And ya, it was a bit of a let down. They described it as ‘kind of weird’. And that’s because a guy’s sex drive is not just driven by their body, but their mind. Try having a guy think about his grandma and get pepped up. It’s not going to happen because their mind would be revolted. Now, one could say that’s because she’s not physically attractive, but you can take a sexy women who is cruel, clingy, and obnoxiously loud and she can turn a guy off.

Physical attraction is based on mental attraction. Ever found someone to be attractive until you talked to them? Ever found someone to become more attractive after spending time with them? Physically, nothing has changed. Love is a mental game. Your head sends signals to your body that will turn you on or off. Thirteen year old boys are far from being mentally mature. They don’t have the necessary mental connection with their partner, so, as a result, it’s just ‘weird’.

When people don’t know the mind drives the body, they start working on physical stimulants to enhance the experience. Unhealthy addictions can result from only physical sex. People want a loving connection, and sex is just the closest thing they know how to get. But, sex is only valuable when there is respect, trust and love between the couple. If it’s only physical, it will feel unsatisfying (though the feeling may not be instant), driving people to want more and more. It’s a never ending cycle. Without a mental connection, sex will always be lacking. It’s the equivalent of having a cardboard cut out of a person instead of a real one. But, there are a lot of people (if not most) who grow up in a home without real love. As a result, they don’t know there’s anything different/better. Family’s just keep repeating the same history, and re-living the same pain.

It’s basic human nature to want to feel connected, liked, and valued by others. That’s what sex does in a healthy, stable, and committed relationship. One where the person is physically and mentally attractive. Building a quality relationship can be simple, but it’s hard. Start doing the right thing even for the really small things. As a result, you’ll start respecting yourself. This leads to a boost in confidence. Then, you’ll be able to work on your flaws, and appreciate your strengths. You’ll start wanting to take care of yourself, because you’ll start liking yourself. You’ll be able to effectively judge what you do, and not end up pulling a Kesha. Only when you like yourself, will you be able to like someone else.

Love is not a feeling, but actions, and a healthy mindset. True love can heal anything. It requires a deep foundation and a decent amount of time. It’s a rare thing, but if you start investing now, the payoffs are exponential.

Good Luck out there

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This entry was posted in advice, best years, Dating, emotions, health, relationships, sex, your life and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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